Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
