I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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