Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
