we have officially lost it.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
