ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
