you guys were way drunker than both of me
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize