you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
