Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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