google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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