please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
