I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize