just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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