Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
