i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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