your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
