Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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