sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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