whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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