You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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