I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
