Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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