Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm too high and old for this...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
