I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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