don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
