I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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