a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
