i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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