Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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