are you still at the devil's house?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
