If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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