is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
zippers are such a cool invention
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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