my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
