I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
