soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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