Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
