Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
