So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
