YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
