Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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