...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
