Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's the barista slut.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
