I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
