Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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