He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
