i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
