i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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