I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
