...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
