is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
