note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My penis needs a shock collar
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
