Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
