you would pick up someone in the library
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
