but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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