I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize