my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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