im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
