i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
