My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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