separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
