i don't like sucking hair
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize