The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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