i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize