Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
